You have committed marriage infidelity and your wife has found out, what do you do now?
Well, it’s time to determine if your want to fix or abandon your marriage. Do you want to try to maintain your marriage, or do you want to continue visiting escorts in Las Vegas?
You have done the absolute worst thing you could have done to your marital bond. When you and your wife were first wed you both had high expectations for your marriage and infidelity has changed all that. You must have had some reason for your actions. Have you achieved the results you wanted?
If not, you need to determine if you want to stay in your marriage. If you do, you need to find out if your wife wants to give you another chance, although, this may very well be difficult to determine. Your partner may not be readily able to make that decision, especially if she has just learned of your illicit goings on.
Okay, here you are. You’ve made a BIG mistake, you feel horrible and you have decided that you still love your wife, but she is upset and might not even be able to face you.
How do you proceed? Here are some pointers to get you headed in the right direction.
Take accountability for what you have done
Admit to it, confess it to your wife and apologize for it. But, don’t dwell on it. It was just an escort or call girl, and it meant nothing to you. If you concentrate on your errors, you and your partner will never put them to rest. Make your remorse known to your partner, and use your feelings of guilt to help your move forward, but don’t expect your spouse to ever forgive you if you can’t forgive yourself.
Understand how your partner must feel
If she won’t tell you, know that you couldn’t have done anything worse than cheat on her. No matter how bad, or how guilty you feel, it’s nothing compared to what she is going through. After all, you know what was going on; there were no surprises, your actions where you own. Your partner, on the other hand, is the victim of those actions.
Commit yourself to making it work
For now, your partner may not be talking to you. If you still love her and truly what to reconcile, you will have to decide to give all your effort to change your attitude and your behavior to visibly show your partner you’re serious about making the marriage work. No more trips to Las Vegas or anywhere else the temptations of Asian escorts might be. While it may be difficult, you need to get your outlook and actions moving in an optimistic direction. It is your actions that got you here and it will be your actions that determine your direction.
It could take some time before your partner will even be prepared to talk with you. Once she does start talking, she has a lot more healing to do. It’s going to take time — maybe years to get her feeling comfortable with the relationship again.
Your wife will need to work through what has happened and may even seem unsure of how to proceed toward reconciliation. She may even decide that she’s not emotionally strong enough to stay in the relationship. You need to try to understand what she is going through and be sympathetic. You can’t force a solution on her, but you can show her you care by understanding her view point.
Let her know you’re willing to do whatever it takes to move past your blunder and re-establish your relationship. Ask her what you can do to prove yourself to her. If you can get her to tell you, you’ll be moving in a positive direction. When she communicates what she need you to do, DO IT. Don’t argue, don’t get defensive, just do it with the best and most agreeable attitude you can. It’s not going to be easy to regain her trust in you, so you’re going to have to work particularly hard to earn it. In addition to not dating escorts, you’ll need to stop visiting online escort agencies such as MyAsianEscorts.com.
Once you’ve gotten the lines of communication open again and have demonstrated, by your actions, that you’re serious about fixing your marriage, you and your partner need to determine what you both want out of your marriage. Set the tone by viewing this as a chance to start a new. Be positive, after all, you are both much wiser now than when you were first married. You have a golden opportunity to make your bond stronger than ever, working from where you are right now.
DO NOT repeat your infidelity
If it’s not obvious to you why, then you should do yourself and your spouse a favor and just end the relationship now. Why go through all the trouble and heart ache just to end up back where you are right now. This Family Life article provides more insight.
It was you who got you where you are now, but it’s going to take both of you to get to where you want to be. Knowing the part you need to play will increase you and your wife’s chances for success.
You need to work at achieving success in your marriage and infidelity has set your relationship back, don’t think it’s going to be easy to start over. You have a lot of work ahead of you, so follow the steps outlined here and start working on your partnership with your spouse.