After the lazy days of summer, it can be a difficult transition to head back to school once August and September roll around. While many families jump back in head first, signing up for programs, activities and meetings, others long for a slower pace—a way to keep the family priorities in line and achieve a healthy balance of school, activities and family time. It takes some focus, a game plan and solid communication, but it is possible to maintain back-to-school balance in your family.

Even if your family is not as unified as you would like, there is no reason to wait until next summer to connect and make time to grow as a family unit. Back-to-school time brings its challenges, but it is still possible to purposefully schedule your days and nights so that there is plenty of family time in the midst of getting to school on time completing homework, and maintaining the carpool to dance class.

The pull to get involved in too many activities is strong in our society. Not only do you have school commitments, but there are also church responsibilities, extended family gatherings and other activities that can leave you with zero extra time to relax. What often results is the common problem of rarely having your family members together at the same time. In this type of home environment, it is likely for parents to lose a vital connection with each other and with their children.

Psalm 39:6 give us some insight into what happens when life becomes too hectic: “Certainly, man walks about like a mere shadow. Indeed, they frantically rush around in vain, gathering possessions without knowing who will get them.” Does this ring true for you and your family members? The word shadow conjures an idea of a shell of a person—not being fully present or able to truly live in God’s light. Certainly, the last thing you want to be are shadows who “rush around in vain,” yet it can begin to feel that way only a few weeks into the school year. By setting up a family plan now—at the very onset of back-to-school—you can help to avoid this scenario and save your family from a school year of being disconnected and unbalanced.

Creating a Plan for Family Balance

It is vital to be on the same page with your spouse when facing the school year ahead. When you are working together to keep your family intact and connected, the task becomes much easier. Before you approach your children, pray together and talk over the game plan for maintaining family balance. What is best for each family differs, so it is up to you to determine how much activity and away-from-home time is acceptable for your family.

Perhaps you can reserve one night each week or every other week as “Family Night.” This means, no outside activities or hanging out somewhere other than with the family. You could plan a family movie night or game night, or just determine that you will enjoy a night with everyone in the same house together. As you are working out the details and planning your schedule, ask God to help. He can give you the wisdom you need not only to set-up the plan but also to enforce it.

When your children see that you and your spouse have prayerfully worked together to devise the plan, they have the opportunity to see teamwork in action in your family. It makes it more appealing to them to go along with your plan. There may be some dragging of feet, and this is to be expected, but when you stand firm and share with them your desire to keep the family connected and balanced, they are less likely to rebel against the idea.

It is God’s desire that we as parents train our children and instill in them His hope, love and righteousness, but how can we do this if we hardly see them during waking hours? Deuteronomy 6:6-8 explains: “Write these commandments that I’ve given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then teach them to your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street; talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night…”

If God has called us to get His commandments inside of our children and talk about them day and night, it is clear He desires for us to be near our children. Buckle down this school year and make it happen and be ready to experience the blessing of a more connected family.

© Jewell R. Powell, The Marriage Coach and author of Marriage 101: Building a Life Together by Faith. Visit us at www.marriage101.us.

Tips for Achieving Godly Family Priorities during the School Year

It’s one thing to say you want your family to avoid over-scheduling during the school year, but it is another thing entirely to take action to ensure it doesn’t happen. It is just way too easy to become overcommitted once school is in full-swing. From after-school practices and PTA meetings to classmate parties and church events, there are a seemingly endless number of opportunities to “do something” outside of the home. But for families interested in striving for God’s priorities, it is essential to put our relationship with God and other family members before events and activities.

We can know the priorities God wants us to have when we take a close look at His word. For example, Proverbs 22:6 tells us to “train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.” The idea is that we will spend enough time with our child in order to train him and lead him in godly disciplines. This is difficult to accomplish when our family schedules are packed full of activities. Even the simple command to “be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10) illustrates God’s desire for us to slow down and refocus priorities.

So how do we encourage our families to “be still” and find time to grow relationships with each other when the world around us keeps such a frantic pace? Below are some tips for achieving Godly family priorities:

• Pray as a family—When your children witness you going to God for wisdom and peace, it is going to rub off on them. By going together to God and asking Him to help you set your family priorities, they begin to learn at an early age how to depend on God. You are showing them that in your family what God desires is more important that what the world expects.
• Engage in family devotions/meetings—Whether you make it a habit after dinnertime, or a weekly scheduled event, make an effort to spend time together learning about and discussing issues that arise from school, home, etc. This will help to strongly develop trust and communication between parents and children.
• Practice open communication—There will likely be times when your children aren’t pleased with missing out on activities or having to spend time at home on family night. Allow them to share their feelings with you and then discuss them, as well as sharing with them your perspective. The more comfortable your children feel sharing their emotions with you, the less likely they are to rebel.
• Create an action plan—It isn’t always going to be easy to stick with your new goal to maintain family balance, but you can increase your chances for success by creating an action plan. Sit down with the family and compose a list of possible activities, and then work together to prioritize them. Talk about what is important to each family member as you create the list and brainstorm ways each of you can contribute to the goal.
• Have fun together—The family that plays together, stays together! If you can have fun with your family, it is going to be much more appealing to be together. Plan a game night, or let your kids plan a family outing once a month. Whatever you do, be sure to laugh and enjoy life. Psalm 133:1 encourages us: “How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!” Having fun together is an important ingredient to achieving family unity.

As you strive to unify your family and seek balance throughout the school year, consider some of these resources to help you along the way:

• Parenting with Kingdom Purpose by Richard Ross and Ken Hemphill
• The Power of a Praying Parent by Stormie Omartian
• Parentlife— a LifeWay website devoted to providing practical ideas and insights to help parent meet the responsibilities and celebrate the joys of parenting
• Restoring the Christian Family: A Biblical Guide to Love, Marriage and Parenting in a Changing World by John Loren Sanford
• Marriage 101 mini-series: Parenting by Jewell R. Powell

© Jewell R. Powell, The Marriage Coach and author of Marriage 101: Building a Life Together by Faith. Visit us at www.marriage101.us.